Tag: Autism Advocate

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Able Buddies NC: Building Connections Through Family and Friends Nights

At Able Buddies NC, community and connection are at the heart of everything they do. One of the most cherished and impactful offerings of the organization is its Family and Friends Nights—a series of social events that bring together individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities (IDD), their families, and their friends. These nights provide an opportunity for meaningful interaction, celebration, and support, while fostering a sense of belonging and inclusion for all participants.

What Are Family and Friends Nights?

Family and Friends Nights are special social gatherings hosted by Able Buddies NC that create a fun, safe, and inclusive environment for individuals with IDD and their loved ones. These events are designed to offer a chance for individuals to socialize, build relationships, and experience a sense of community. They also provide a much-needed space for family members and friends to connect, share experiences, and support one another in a relaxed, welcoming atmosphere.

These nights often feature a variety of activities that encourage participation from all ages and abilities. Whether it’s a themed party, a game night, or a simple gathering with music and refreshments, Family and Friends Nights are about bringing people together to enjoy each other’s company and celebrate the unique qualities that make each individual special.

Why Are Family and Friends Nights Important?

  1. Creating a Supportive Community
    Family and Friends Nights offer families the opportunity to meet others who are going through similar experiences. For many families of individuals with IDD, these events are a vital support network, providing a space to share stories, advice, and resources. The social nature of these events encourages both individuals with disabilities and their loved ones to form meaningful connections with others in the community. By fostering these relationships, Able Buddies NC helps to break down feelings of isolation and create a broader support system for everyone involved.
  2. Promoting Socialization for All Ages
    Social interaction can sometimes be a challenge for individuals with IDD, particularly if they don’t have access to inclusive social events. Family and Friends Nights create a space where everyone—regardless of age or ability—can engage in fun, interactive activities. These events help participants develop important social skills, build friendships, and practice communication in a supportive and non-judgmental environment. For many attendees, these nights provide an invaluable opportunity to experience what it feels like to be part of a group and be celebrated for who they are.
  3. Strengthening Family Bonds
    For families of individuals with disabilities, the journey can be full of unique challenges. Family and Friends Nights offer an opportunity to relax, have fun, and spend quality time together. These events encourage families to step away from the daily grind and focus on creating joyful memories in a supportive environment. Parents, siblings, and extended family members can enjoy a night out, free from worries, while watching their loved one engage in activities and make new friends. This sense of togetherness is critical for the emotional well-being of all family members.
  4. Encouraging Inclusive Recreation
    Able Buddies NC’s Family and Friends Nights emphasize inclusivity in every aspect of their planning. The events are designed to ensure that individuals with varying abilities can fully participate in the activities. Whether it’s games, or a focus on creating a welcoming atmosphere, every detail is carefully considered to ensure that no one feels left out. This inclusive approach makes it possible for everyone to experience the joy and sense of belonging that comes with being part of a community.
  5. Raising Awareness and Advocacy
    Family and Friends Nights also serve as a platform for raising awareness about intellectual and developmental disabilities. These gatherings provide an opportunity to educate the broader community about the importance of inclusion, empathy, and support. As families and individuals share their stories, they help to break down misconceptions and promote a greater understanding of the challenges faced by those with IDD. The more people learn, the more they can advocate for changes that benefit the entire community.

The Fun and Connection of Family and Friends Nights

Each Family and Friends Night at Able Buddies NC is designed with fun in mind. From movie nights and dance parties to arts and crafts, the activities are diverse and cater to a wide range of interests and abilities. These nights often feature:

  • Themed Events: Whether it’s a holiday celebration, a seasonal gathering, or a fun theme like a “Superhero Night” or “80s Throwback,” themed events add an extra layer of excitement and creativity to the evening.
  • Games and Competitions: Various games and team challenges encourage friendly competition and collaborative play, helping participants bond and engage with one another.
  • Music and Dancing: A DJ can bring an energetic vibe to the event, with dancing being a favorite activity for many attendees.
  • Crafting and Creative Stations: These stations allow individuals to explore their artistic side, whether they are painting, making jewelry, or crafting holiday decorations.
  • Food and Refreshments: Nothing brings people together like shared meals and snacks. Able Buddies NC ensures that there’s plenty of delicious food and drinks for everyone to enjoy.

A Lasting Impact on Families

The impact of Family and Friends Nights extends far beyond the events themselves. These gatherings provide families with precious memories and a stronger sense of community, which can last long after the night has ended. Families often leave these events feeling more connected—not just to the Able Buddies NC community, but to one another as well.

In addition to providing immediate enjoyment, Family and Friends Nights contribute to a broader sense of inclusion and advocacy. As individuals with IDD, their families, and their friends come together, they create a ripple effect that spreads understanding and acceptance throughout the local community. By fostering these relationships and promoting inclusivity, Able Buddies NC is helping to build a world where everyone can experience the joy of connection, regardless of ability.

How to Get Involved

If you’re interested in attending or supporting Family and Friends Nights, Able Buddies NC encourages families, friends, and community members to get involved. Whether you are a family looking for a supportive and fun environment for your loved one with IDD, or a volunteer who wants to help facilitate these joyful evenings, there are plenty of opportunities to be part of this inclusive, welcoming community. Keep an eye on Able Buddies NC’s website and social media for updates on upcoming events and ways to participate.

Conclusion

Family and Friends Nights at Able Buddies NC are a shining example of the power of connection. Through these events, individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities, their families, and friends are given the chance to socialize, have fun, and build lasting relationships in a safe and supportive environment. These nights not only foster friendships but also promote a sense of belonging and inclusion for all. In a world that often overlooks the importance of community, Able Buddies NC is leading the way in creating spaces where everyone can come together and celebrate one another.

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The Heavy Gift

This morning I sat in my sun room waiting for my boys to wake up and for the momentum of the day to carry me away. I heard the birds begging for my attention but my mind was busy thinking about Corbin’s first day with his new teacher.

Corbin is ten-years-old, diagnosed on the autism spectrum and he is nonspeaking, but uses a speech app, gestures and noises to communicate his wants and needs throughout the day.

For those of us who know him well, there are many days where we almost forget how different our lives are, and how differently Corbin communicates. I’ve become so accustomed to “Corbinese” as I call it, that I barely miss a beat in our conversations. His eyes get wide as he juts out his chin and I know that’s an emphatic “NO”. He smiles and spins in a circle and that’s a “YES!” with excitement. He is looking in purses, pockets, and random drawers and I respond “Daddy said no more gum.” He yells and hits his head repeatedly and I remind him “you can have a piece when we get in the car. Just go listen to some music until we go.” He grabs his Ipad and goes upstairs to his swing.

There are days, even weeks, where we live in the ease of this little world we’ve created here at home. The world where our two year old, Liam, runs the roost, stealing Corbin’s toys and food. Corbin mostly lets him, but occasionally looks at us to intervene. The world where our 12 year old Landon rolls his eyes over something Corbin does and sharply tells him “Don’t touch my stuff!” Corbin ignores him, like brothers do, and waits for the next moment to take his prized possession.

We’ve adjusted to the normalcy of our 2 year old taking naps in the car, where Corbin’s vocal stims won’t wake him, and where the extra bed in Corbin’s room is used for the on-call parent. We take two cars when we go to birthday parties/events and one parent stays the course, while the other leaves however early is necessary to call it a “success.” What may seem peculiar, inconvenient or even impossible to outsiders is just our normal, and sometimes our normal goes so smoothly that we don’t think much about how it may vary from any other home.

Although there’s upsets, and challenges that seemingly come out of left field and knock us out of our groove, for the most part we’re just living our typical atypical lives. It’s not until we’re bringing someone new into the fold that I become acutely aware, and sometimes overly anxious about how to integrate all of these differences into other settings, with other people.

I remember a time when Corbin was younger and we were beginning to recognize that his autistic tendencies were more extreme than others in his class, or the support community we engaged with. I remember going to autism community events thinking this was where we would fit in, but many of these children were able to speak, or mainstream into the general ed classrooms. I remember thinking that I wouldn’t give up hope for Corbin, and at the time hope meant believing he would mainstream in school, that he would talk, that he would one day live independently, fall in love, pursue a career. In many ways “hope” meant “normal.” I had accepted that he was atypical, but I hoped his life wouldn’t be.

I thought that accepting that he may not speak, or that he might not live independently meant that I was giving up on him, and I struggled to hold a vision of him that was so far from the boy who stood in front of me. I was so confused about how to support him, and how to hold him in his highest light, and believe in his full potential. I didn’t even know what that meant.

At this time I met a beautiful woman Aileen. She invited me to attend Able Buddies dance night and meet her son Randy. Randy was in his mid-20’s, nonspeaking and living at home with her. We met for lunch one afternoon and she spoke of him with so much love and admiration. I learned about how much he loved Oreos, and musical greeting cards. She shared about the challenges, and hardships. She talked about his great sense of humor, and the joy he brought to her daily. When I first met Randy at Able Buddies dance night, I saw him and Aileen dance together, and I saw a love I was just beginning to understand. It was deeper, heavier, more brilliant, and expansive than what most of us share. It was beautiful. I saw what a gift he was to her, but I knew it was a heavy gift. A gift I was struggling to carry.

Aileen and Randy had a huge impact on my life because they gave me a blueprint to follow. Aileen had surrendered her need for Randy to be anything other than who he truly was, and that allowed all of us to see him as completely whole. He didn’t make me sad. I never once felt bad for Aileen, in fact, just the opposite. I saw something I wanted more than anything. Not just with Corbin, but with all my boys. I want them to trust me like Randy trusted Aileen, and I want to exude such joy when I look at their faces, the way Aileen looked at Randy.

Two years ago Randy went to be with Jesus, and I had only ever met him once in his time on earth, but he gave me a gift that I will carry with me always. He showed the true measure of a man, and he gave me a new picture to embrace and find solace in. He allowed me to ease into the gratitude I had all along. I thought that as a parent I needed to fight against a future I couldn’t understand, when in fact I needed to surrender, and give myself to it.

Able Buddies of North Carolina is a place where we come together to be who we are. Not to accept, tolerate, or raise awareness, but instead a place where we harmonize as families and show each other, within our most vulnerable moments, that each and every one of us is loved, valued and whole.

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Advocating for your Child

Written by: Anthony’s Mom aka Autism Advocate

I know some people think that individuals that are ASD are all diagnosed at a young age, at least before leaving elementary school. Well, that is very wrong.

Those diagnosed with ASD in their teenager and adult years, usually have “masked” their symptoms or were misdiagnosed with another diagnoses.

In my son’s case, he was a twin and started developmental delay therapy around 18 months of age, which was around the time he and his twin actually started sitting up on their own, with out any assistant.

Because they were twins, although not premature, it was always said, it is because they are twins. Therefore inadvertently “masking” the signs of autism.

He entered early preschool at age 3 due to developmental delays. From then until he graduated high school is June 2018, my son had an IEP. Until his last school year, it was for OHI (other health impairment).

After requesting for over 7 years, I was finally able to get a complete reevaluation for my son’s IEP. It was finally changed the beginning of his last year of school to 1.  Severe Emotional disorders and 2. Autism Spectrum Disorder. Which to those not familiar, getting an IEP changed from OHI to anything else is hard, and it is extremely hard to get a school system to label Autism as a reason for an IEP.

When I gained full custody of my twins, they were 6 years old. It was a long 3-year court battle, and both boys were subjected to things no child of that age range, no child at all, should be a part of. I am so glad I put my faith in God and trusted things would work out because the truth would always win.

Anthony was around 7 years old when he first went to see a psychiatrist. After the evaluation was complete, he was diagnosed ADHD. From then until 16 years old, he was misdiagnosed with a variety of mood and behavioral disorders, even ODD (oppositional defiant disorder). Even after changing to a great psychiatrist, whom he is still a patient of, at age 8 ½ years the misdiagnoses went on.

After learning about my God Daughter getting diagnosed at 3 years old, with Non-Verbal Autism, I started looking in to what Autism is. I began researching and I started to wonder with everything my son’s going through, “Does my son have Autism.” So, I started asking  his psychiatrist.

He had a comprehensive psychological evaluation performed around 10 years old. The diagnoses were ADHD and Anxiety Disorder. When asked if this evaluation included any testing for Autism, I was made aware that Tricare, the only insurance we had at the time, denied additional testing as his IQ was 126, which to the insurance company meant he could not have autism. Well, at that time, I said ok. As my Goddaughter was non-verbal and I was unsure if that was justified to not perform further assessments.

Starting around 11 ½ years of age, his behaviors of impulsivity and moodiness started to escalate, and his social behaviors started to be noticeably different than of his peers, as well as his anxiety started to soar when he got frustrated. Again, I asked for further assessments to see if he had Autism.

The school administrators and his teachers were constantly telling me his behaviors are that of criminal behaviors. These behaviors are impulsivity, defiance, repetitive movements, and lack of empathy.

Another CPE (comprehensive psychological evaluation) was performed again. His IQ was 114, and his diagnoses were ADHD, Anxiety Disorder, and mood disorder. Mood disorder was changed almost yearly to variety of mood and behavioral diagnoses. Until 15 ½ years old, when the diagnosis of unspecified bipolar was made while at one of his many stays at Brynn Marr Behavioral Health Hospital.

Over the next few days, the next few blogs, I will take you through our turbulent, excruciating, challenging, and extensive excursion we have gone on, and continue to go through. I want to write this blog in order to help educate  and hopefully help others, so that another does not have to go threw what we have had and continue to go through.

I am going to end this blog with this saying, “Never underestimate yourself as the parent of a child with special needs. You will always be your child’s best therapist and advocate.”

~AM-AA