Tag: If he could talk

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I Cried Today.

Buddy loves his music.  He has a DVD player and TV in his room, and he plays DVDs and CDs,  from the time he wakes up, until bedtime.

He can find the song he wants, and will play it all day.   He knows, what CD/DVD has the song he is looking for, and how many times he has to push the buttons to get to it.

This morning I was getting ready to pay bills, and Buddy comes out of his room and grabs my arm.   He pulls me back to his room as fast as he can, and I think the usual…he pushed the wrong button and turned the TV off.  And he is asking me to fix it for him.

We get to his room and he pushes some buttons…Tanya Tucker starts singing about a road map of Texas.

I start making jokes, and asking for kisses.  Then I asked for a hug. and he leans over and pushes a few more buttons…he stops and Ms Tucker starts introducing a song.    As she does, Buddy grabs my hands and pulls me to him.

He wraps my arms around him and pulls me into a bear hug, so I start to slow dance with him  as the music begins.

Buddy, understands everything,  so I can only believe that he was trying to tell me something in a way that only a non-verbal person can.

As he held me tight, with his head on my shoulder and mine on his… Tanya Tucker sang “You Are So Beautiful To Me”.

When I looked up and said “Is that what you want to tell me?”  He smiled the biggest smile, and I cried.

I can’t tell you how awesome it is to FEEL loved, when you can’t hear it!

~ASM

 

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It’s all about the dance

Buddy loves his music, he will find a song that he likes, and play it continuously for days…weeks and months.

He has several favorite songs, but he will usually favor one tune to play the life out of.   Thankfully, we have the same taste in artist/songs.  Unfortunately, this means that several of my CDs have been pilfered and what was once mine, has become his…that is, until he breaks the CD or scratches it beyond repair.

When the inevitable happens, he brings the remains of the disc to me to fix.  Which, sometimes I can, but more often than not,  I have to slip it out of his sight, until it can be safely tossed under something gross in the trash.

Several month ago, Buddy and I started attending a dance, and I requested one of his songs.  I pulled him to the dance floor and wrapped my arms around his waist and we swayed to the music.  This has become “our thing”.   It is known that we dance to this song  at each dance.  He even knows it.  And he seems to like it as much as I do.

Lately, he has been listening to Elvis “I Can’t Help Falling In Love With You”.  This evening I went into his room and it was quiet.  I discovered that the CD was broken.  I know how much Bud loves this song, so I did what any good mother would do, and I burnt him a new CD of Elvis tunes.

When I put it in his player, he grinned ear to ear and pushed the “next” button to hear 3 second snippets of each song.  I helped him to find his favorite, but he he kept pushing the button for more snippets.   I told him to wait and listen to the songs, as I took over the button pushing.   I stopped at all the songs and sang a little bit and he would reach for me to push it again.  I finally stopped on “Return to Sender” and he let me sing a bit as he giggled.  Since he was standing, I grabbed him and made him dance with me.  (cuz, I’m the mom and that’s what moms do)  After a minute or so, I left the room so he could enjoy his music without me ruining it for him.

About an hour later I walked by his room and he is playing “Return to Sender”.  I tell him that it’s time for bed and he needs to turn it off.  He then grabs me, pulls me to him, wraps my arms around his waist and puts his arms around my shoulders.  I say “Okay Buddy, Mom will dance with you”.  We danced for several minutes, only stopping long enough for him to push the rewind button after the chorus.   Each time that I tried to pull away, he pulled closer.  Each time I said “C’mon Bud, it’s bedtime” he’d push the button again.

I don’t know if he thought he was getting away with staying up, by dancing with me, of if he was letting me know how much he appreciated me making him a new CD.   But either way…

It’s all about the dance.

~ASM

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Sometimes I Like To Imagine What It Would Be Like If My Son Didn’t Have Autism.

Me:  “Morning Bud!”

Bud: “Mornin’, what’s for breakfast?”

Me: “I made eggs and bacon.”

Bud: “Can I have sausage instead?”

Me: “Sure, I’ll have it ready when you get out of the shower.”

Bud: “Thanks, Ma, you’re the best.”

~~~~~~~

Me: “Hey Bud, how was school?”

Bud: “It was okay, I think I aced that quiz.  Hey, is it okay if I hang out with the guys after I get off work, tonight?”

Me: “Sure, just be home by 10, it’s a school night. Where will you be?”

Bud: “We’re gonna grab some burgers or something.”

Me: “Ohhhh, burgers…is SHE working tonight?”

Bud: “Yeah… she said I should stop in and say hi. I think she likes me.”

~~~~~~~

Bud: “Mom?  Mom, wake up!”

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Bud: “I had an accident, the road was wet and I went into a ditch.”

Me: “Are you okay?”

Bud: “Yeah, but I think I messed up the car.”

Me: “As long as you’re okay, the car doesn’t matter.”

~~~~~~~

Bud: “Mom, I’m thinking about asking Julie to marry me.”

Me: “Oh, Sweetie,  That’s wonderful.  You two are so good together. I really like her.”

Bud:  “Do you think you can help me pick out the ring?”

~~~~~~

Bud: “Mom, It’s a BOY!”

~~~~~

Bud: “Mom, I love you and I want you to know how much I appreciate all that you do for me.”

~~~~~

Sometimes, I like to imagine what it would be like if Bud didn’t have autism.

 

~ASM